Obama Commits Suicide and Clarence Earns His Wings, Part 2
By Dr. Donald W. Hendon
DonaldHendon.com
In yesterday’s Fractured Fairy Tale, Obama was so depressed
about his incompetency and unpopularity, he decided
to commit suicide when he woke up the next morning.
However, Clarence the Angel from the 1946 movie
“It’s a Wonderful Life,” showed up before Obama
could do carry out his plan. Here’s what happened:
Obama falls asleep watching “It’s a Wonderful Life” on NBC.
Clarence, the Angel who won his wings in the movie,
tugs on his sleeve and wakes him up.
Obama: Hey, aren’t you Clarence the Angel? I just saw you on TV.
What are you doing here?
Clarence: I was sent here to help you.
Obama: I don’t need no stinkin’ help. I just wanna die. I’m less
popular than Congress, and they’re even less popular
than dog shit, diarrhea, colonoscopies, root canals,
used car salesmen, and head lice according to some
poll I read the other day.
Clarence: Yeah, I read that poll, too. The one by Public Policy
Polling.
Obama: The only way I could become more un-popular is if I pardon
Ariel Castro posthumously.
Clarence: Awwwww, you poor thing!
Obama: Even Kathleen Sebelius, the head of Health and Human
Services, hates me. She blames me for creating
Obama-Scare. I tried to get on her good side, but it
didn’t work.
Clarence: What did you do?
Obama: I gave her a book, Web Sites for Dummies. She
threw it in my face!
Clarence: You’re about as clueless as Joe Biden!
Obama: Yeah, nobody in America will ever name their baby boy
Barack! Or Hussein! Even the Washington Post
called me incompetent after my November 14 news
conference. My legacy is down the toilet! I
wish I had never been born in Kenya!
Clarence: Don’t say that! It’s a good thing you were born.
Just think what life in America would be like if you
had never been born!
Obama: What?
Clarence: Well, let’s look at the record—your record:
Comprehensive economic failure. A divided country.
Attacks on freedom of religion. Relentless class
warare. Cronyism. Incompetence. Stagnation. Broken
promises. More people depending on government for
handouts!
Obama grins broadly as he listens to Clarence.
Clarence: And don’t forget this—you brought in the most explicitly
left-wing agenda in the history of the United
States. More government. More taxes. More
dependency. More bailouts. More stupid regulations.
More crony investments in proven economic losers.
More interference in markets. More coercion. More
redistribution. A sputtering economy. An idiotic
foreign policy. $7 trillion more debt. Record
numbers of people on food stamps. The list goes on!
Obama, proudly: And don’t forget about Obama-Scare!
Clarence: Yeah, you can’t say “You didn’t build that!” You did
build it! And in spite of this atrocity, you still
beat Romney in 2012.
Obama: Wanna know a secret, Clarence? The reason why I really
won?
Clarence: What?
Obama: Two words: Election fraud!
Clarence: Yeah, you became president illegally! You fundamentally
transformed the United States of America, just as
you promised to do back in October 2008. And don’t
get me started on Benghazi, IRS audits of your
enemies including the Tea Party, Fast and Furious,
calling America a “nation of cowards”…Shall I go on?
Obama: Didn’t I do anything right, Clarence?
Clarence: Let me bring in Don Rickles, the comedian. He’ll tell you
how great you are.
Obama: Is he still alive? Yep. Born in 1926, still going strong.
Don Rickles: Look on the bright side, Barack-baby. You’ve
accomplished a hell of a lot!
Obama: What?
Don Rickles: You completed the Unholy and Anti-American Trifecta:
The first president in 110 years to miss the annual Army-Navy
football game
The first president to not attend any Christmas religious
observance
The first president to go on vacation—in Las Vegas—after a
terrorist attack.
And all in the same month! What a great Muslim president!
Clarence: Rickles is right! What a great Muslim president you are!
Obama: Yeah, I guess at least the Middle East loves me!
Clarence: So what’cha gonna do? Still gonna commit suicide?
Obama: Yeah! The Middle East isn’t enough! I want the whole
world to love me!
Obama pulls out a gun and shoots himself.
Clarence the Angel smiles broadly. He accompanies Obama to hell and
says to Lucifer, his boss: Here’s Obama, chief. Now,
will you let me call myself by my real name, Saul
Alinsky, instead of Clarence!
Lucifer: You did well, Saul. You fooled Obama, just like you fooled
so many people with your book Rules for Radicals.
Clarence-Alinsky: Yeah, it was Obama’s bible! Ironic, isn’t it?
Lucifer: You did well. You won your official horns and pitchfork at
long last! That stupid Obama thought you were a good
angel trying to earn his wings. Little did he know!
Both Lucifer and Clarence-Alinsky laugh evilly while poor Obama
cringes in fear. What’s in store for him? More to
come in a future Fractured Fairy Tale.
Dr. Donald
Wayne Hendon is a consultant, speaker, trainer, and
author of 12 books, including The Way of the
Warrior in Business, Guerrilla
Deal-Making (with Jay Conrad Levinson) and
365 Powerful Ways to Influence.
Deal-Making contains the 100 most powerful
tactics from 365 Powerful Ways—along
with 400 countermeasures. There are 121 aggressive
tactics, 92 defensive ones, 24 cooperative ones, and
16 submissive ones to get what you want from other
people. Plus 81 dirty tricks to watch out for and 31
tactics to prepare you for your interaction with
them. Download Chapter 1, free of charge, at
www.DonaldHendon.com. Play Don’s free online
Negotiation Poker game by going to
GuerrillaDon.com. Apps will soon be available.