In God We Trust

Michelle's Plan to Divorce Obama Backfires - A Fractured Fairy Tale - Part 3

 

By Dr. Donald W. Hendon
DonaldHendon.com

While Michelle, Sasha, Malia, and mama Marian are flying to China, Obama and his speshul-weshul guy Kal Penn are flying to Saudi Arabia so Obama can perform the Hajj, like a good little Muslim boy. After they reminisce about the good old days when Obama made Kal the Director of the White House Office of Pubic Engagement, they start talking about their life together after Obama divorces Michelle

 

Kal: When are you gonna divorce Michelle? While you’re still in office? Or after Horrible Hillary takes office?

 

Barry: What do you mean after Hillary becomes president? First of all, I’m gonna make sure she doesn’t get the nomination. And second, I already told you several times I’m gonna declare myself Emperor before the 2016 elections. 

 

Kal: What grounds for divorce will you use?

 

Barry: That Michelle’s a crook!

 

Kal: Hell, you’re an even bigger crook than she is!

 

Barry: Yeah, but I’ve covered my tracks a lot better than she has.

 

Kal: Yeah, you really remember everything that Saul Alinsky taught you in Rules for Radicals. Including how not to get caught.

 

Barry: Yeah, Saul was my kind of guy—dedicating his book to Lucifer himself. I wish I could have met him. Anyway, after we get back to Washington, the first thing I’m going to have her arrested. Just like Nasty Nancy Pelosi threatened to do to Karl Rove if he ever set foot in the Capitol when she was Speaker of the House.

 

Kal: What’s your fiendish plan?

 

Barry: Hey, have you been watching Boris and Natasha again?

 

Kal: Yeah, they’re my favorite characters from the old Bullwinkle show. Not Dudley Do-Right. Not George of the Jungle. Not Inspector Peabody. Not Sherman.

 

Barry: Well, Kal, my plan is extremely fiendish. I’m gonna have her arrested for cheating on her expense report. She had Sasha and Malia listed as “senior staffers” in 2011 so taxpayers could pay for their African safari. And she’s doing it again, right now, this time on her trip to China. And she’s also listing her mother Marian as a “senior staffer.” That way, they can all pig out on lobster and filet mignon, just like we’re doing right now. I have a law degree, and even I know that having a convicted felon for a wife is grounds for divorce.

 

Kal: So, you’re gonna blow the whistle on your own wife!

 

Barry: Yeah, that’ll get my poll numbers up.

 

Kal: What do you care about poll numbers? You’ll declare yourself emperor soon.

 

Barry: You’re right. I don’t really care about poll numbers. I’m the president of the United 57 States. I can do anything I want! And I’ll never get impeached, either!

 

Kal: Why not?

 

Barry: Because I have impeachment insurance. It’s called “Joe Biden.”

 

Kal: There’s something you haven’t thought of, though.

 

Barry: What’s that?

 

Kal: Sasha and Malia will get caught. They’ll be arrested, too. They’re not really Senior Staffers.

 

Barry: You’re right. I love my kids. I’ve gotta think of something else.

 

Kal: Why don’t you just order Clueless Joe Biden to have an affair with Michelle? That’s grounds for divorce.

 

Barry: That wouldn’t work. Michelle would kick him in the balls if he tried anything. You know how she hates white people!

 

Barry and Kal brainstorm some more, then fall asleep in each other’s arms. When they wake up, they start telling each other Obama-Scare jokes to kill time. Here are four of them:

 

Obama goes to a doctor. Doctor says, “Sorry, you have just 6 months to live.” Obama says, “I want a second opinion.” Doctor says, “OK, you’re ugly, too!”

 

Biden goes to a doctor. He says, “Doc, it hurts when I do this.” Doctor says, “Don’t do that. 500 bucks. Next.”

 

Dirty Harry Reid goes to the same doctor. He says, “How can I live with Obama-Scare?” Doctor says, “Don’t get sick. 500 bucks. Next.”

 

What’s the really reason Obama tried so hard to get Obama-Scare passed? Because his pregnant mom was turned away from many hospitals in Kenya and was forced to give birth in a manger.

 

All of a sudden, a Secret Service agent bursts into the Presidential suite on the plane.

 

Barry: How dare you break into my private parts? Only Kal can do that!

 

Secret Service guy says, “Big news, Mr. President. We just got word about something that you need to know about right now!”

 

Barry: What’s that?

 

Secret Service guy: Eric Holder has turned against you. He just resigned. He’s holding a news conference now.

 

Obama turns on the news. Holder and Anthony Weiner, of all people, are holding a joint press conference. Weiner says:

 

We want to announce that we’re going to run for President and Vice President of the United States in 2016. There’s no way in hell that Horrible Hillary Clinton can beat the Weiner-Holder Ticket!

 

Will the Weiner-Holder ticket be a winner or a loser? And what will Obama do in Saudi Arabia while Michelle, the kids, and the mother-in-law are in China? Stay tuned for more fractured fairy tales.

 Copyright (c) 2014 by Dr. Donald Wayne Hendon


 

Dr. Donald Wayne Hendon is a consultant, speaker, trainer, and author of 14 books, including The Way of the Warrior in Business, Guerrilla Deal-Making (with Jay Conrad Levinson) and 365 Powerful Ways to Influence. Jay Levinson recently passed away. He specifically chose Don to be his final co-author—the person most qualified to  carry the torch of guerrilla marketing into the 21st century. Deal-Making contains the 100 most powerful tactics from 365 Powerful Ways—along with 400 winning countermeasures. There are 121 aggressive tactics, 92 defensive ones, 24 cooperative ones, and 16 submissive ones to get what you want from other people. Plus 81 dirty tricks to watch out for and 31 tactics to prepare you for your interaction with them. Download Chapter 1, free of charge, at www.DonaldHendon.com. Play Don’s free online Negotiation Poker game by going to GuerrillaDon.com. Apps will soon be available.