Hoaxes, Snafus and Really Dumb Ideas
By Paul R. Hollrah
DrRichSwier.com
For many years we’ve seen news
reports of the many outrages of radical Islam in
Europe, Africa, and the Middle East, from suicide
bombers blowing themselves up on buses and in
crowded shopping malls, to car bombs exploded near
government buildings and police stations, to the
mass slaughter of non-Muslims, to the ritual
beheading of captured newsmen and aid workers.
Now these atrocities have come to the shores of
America. We’ve seen mass killings of troops at Fort
Hood, Texas, the beheading of a female office worker
in Oklahoma City, the attack on four policemen in
New York by a jihadist armed with an axe, and many
more. It causes us to wonder how long it will be
before we hear news reports of a suicide bomber
blowing themselves up in a crowded suburban shopping
mall or at a major sporting event.
It’s not a question of
if
it will happen; it’s a question of
when
it will happen and
where.
If the American people are to survive the
never-ending onslaught of Islamic jihad, the single
most important thing we must understand is that we
can never defeat radical Islam on the field of
battle. To put it in stark terms, if we were to
draft every young man and every young woman in
America into military service on their eighteenth
birthday, and if we were to send them off to fight
Islamic jihad in Asia, Africa, and the Middle East
for the next 100 years, we could never win a war of
attrition against the forces of Islam.
And even if we were foolish enough to wage such an
endless war on foreign soil, we would still be faced
with the problem of radical jihadists here at home
as they randomly kill, maim, and murder innocent men
women and children on the streets, in their plants
and offices, and in their schools and homes.
We are told by liberal apologists for radical Islam
that we have nothing to worry about. After all, they
argue, only five percent of the worldwide Muslim
population (one in twenty) are potential suicide
bombers or those who slice the heads off their
captives. What they fail to recognize is that, if we
have to worry about only five percent of the world’s
1.4 billion Muslims, we only have to worry about
some 70 million radical jihadists. To put that into
context, the combined uniformed forces of the
Germans, the Japanese, and the Italians in World War
II numbered only 34.1 million. What should be
immediately obvious to almost everyone is that the
only way we can ever survive and/or defeat Islamic
jihad is by de-radicalizing them in any way
possible.
On at least two occasions in the past year I have
suggested an elaborate hoax as a means of getting
inside the heads of radical Islamists and living
there rent-free. What I have proposed is that those
who have the responsibility for our national
security enlist the services of some of Hollywood’s
most skilled special effects technicians for the
purpose of developing a major information warfare
program to be used against radical Islamists. The
plan would utilize a photographic projection
technique called “holography,” the creation of
images that appear to be three dimensional, when in
fact they are only images created by focused beams
of laser light.
I have suggested that the Pentagon or the CIA
undertake to produce a “second coming” of the
prophet Mohammed… a “second coming” in which he
would appear before a crowd of radical jihadists,
chastising them for misinterpreting the words of the
Koran. If such a “second coming” could occur
simultaneously at several locations around the
world, so much the better.
Some might say that what I suggest is a bit “off the
wall,” but is it? Every war in recorded history has
been replete with its share of hoaxes, snafus, and
just plain dumb ideas.
For example, The Protocols of the Elders of Zion is
one of the most monumental hoaxes of all time,
principally because it has been the basis for
anti-Semitism, and even genocide, for more than a
century. Reportedly written by Russian journalist
Matvei Golovinski, circa 1900, the Protocols
purports to describe the closely-guarded secrets of
a clandestine group of Jews known as the Elders of
Zion, outlining in great detail a Jewish conspiracy
to achieve world dominion through proselytizing, the
acquisition of governmental power, and even
violence. And although the Protocols were proven to
be a gigantic hoax as early as 1938, it was used by
the Nazis of the Third Reich as a justification for
the mass slaughter of European Jews during the
Holocaust. Even today, the Protocols continue to
have credence throughout much of the Muslim world.
In the hours and days following the Japanese attack
on Pearl Harbor, a great many Americans refused to
believe that we’d actually been attacked… largely
because Orson Welles’ October 31, 1938, War of the
Worlds radio broadcast was still fresh in their
minds. They had vivid memories of Welles’ dramatic
reporting of a Martian invasion of Planet Earth and
the mass hysteria and panic it created. What gave
credence to the broadcast was that CBS had
interrupted a weather report to announce that
Martians had actually landed on Earth. Some six
million people heard the broadcast, causing
telephone lines to police stations to be overloaded
with calls from panic-stricken listeners. CBS was
forced to apologize and to promise never to repeat
the outrage. Nevertheless, the memory of the Welles
broadcast was still fresh in the minds of many
Americans on December 7, 1941.
In the category of really dumb ideas, in the
planning for Operation OVERLORD, the D-Day invasion
of Europe during World War II, the U.S. War
Department prepared a recommendation proposing that
the allies dig a tunnel under the English Channel,
from Dover to Calais, a distance of 25 miles. It was
estimated that 15,000 men could completed the
project in one year. A tunnel 10 ft. wide by 15 ft.
high would have required the removal of 792,000 tons
of soil and stone. However, the idea was discarded
when someone in the allied high command asked what
would happen when troops, trucks, and tanks poured
out of the tunnel and onto French soil.
Other military planners, while planning for the
D-Day invasion, were concerned about the heavy fog
that regularly engulfed British airfields, hampering
flight operations. A plan for a “fog dispeller” was
presented to General Eisenhower in which flames
would be blown high into the air around airstrips to
eliminate the fog. It was estimated that the fog
dispellers would consume some sixty thousand gallons
of gasoline per hour. Eisenhower filed the idea in
the “round file” without giving it serious
consideration.
In the category of the elaborate hoax, in the weeks
prior to D-Day, the allied high command recruited a
British Army payroll officer, Lieutenant Clifton
James, who was the “spitting image” of British
General Bernard Montgomery. In a deception called
Operation Copperhead, the lieutenant was put through
an intensive course of study in which he learned all
of Montgomery’s tics and mannerisms. Then, dressed
in a British general’s uniform, complete with
Montgomery’s trademark black beret, Lieutenant James
was sent to Gibraltar on May 26, eleven days before
the invasion, and from there to Algiers, where he
was seen moving about in public. German agents
reported back to Berlin that General Montgomery was
inspecting British military installations on the
Mediterranean coast, leading the German high command
to conclude that the D-Day invasion of France was
not in the immediate offing.
In the category of the major SNAFU (or FUBAR in
Vietnam era military slang), in the weeks and month
prior to D-Day, the U.S. Navy developed a
radio-controlled landing craft, called the “drone
boat.” These vessels were not available for use on
D-Day, June 6, 1944, but the Navy rushed them into
production and they were available for the invasion
of the French Riviera on August 15. Each of the
radio-controlled landing craft was loaded with four
tons of explosives, intended to blow holes in German
beachfront fortifications. Unfortunately, military
planners had failed to take into account that the
radio frequency used to control the explosives-laden
landing craft was the exact same frequency used by
the Wehrmacht on shore. As a result, the allied
drone boats were uncontrollable. As one eyewitness
described it, many of the boats “milled around at
high speed in crazy directions, completely on their
own.” Some of the boats reversed course and headed
out to sea, in the general direction of the allied
invasion fleet, and had to be sunk by destroyers in
self defense.
During the early 1980s, a master forger named Konrad
Kujau, produced what he claimed were the personal
journals of Adolf Hitler, recovered from the
wreckage of a plane that crashed in Germany in 1945.
According to Kajau, the diaries were smuggled out of
East Germany by a man known only as “Dr. Fischer.”
The diaries created a stir on both sides of the
Atlantic and were ultimately purchased for the sum
of 10 million Deutschmarks by the German magazine
Stern, which published portions of the diaries in
1983. Because of the secrecy necessary to maintain
the value of the diaries, they were not made
available for examination by historians or by
handwriting analysts. It was not until after Stern’s
publication of extracts from the diaries that they
were found to be forgeries.
If radical Islamists wore
uniforms, as is customary in war, so that they could
be distinguished from non-combatants, it is arguable
that our technological supremacy might win the day
on the field of battle. But that’s not the nature or
practice of radical Islamists. Instead, they wear
non-military clothing and hide themselves among
women and children. In addition, unlike soldiers of
civilized western cultures, jihadists cannot be
captured, imprisoned, and sent off to “reeducation”
camps… they can only be killed.
Convincing radical Islamists that they are committing a great sin by carrying out jihad against western nations is our only recourse. Since we can’t begin to envision the killing of 70 million jihadists, it’s time we found more creative ways of defeating the most barbaric enemy in all of recorded history. And while it may not be kosher to mess around with someone else’s religion by staging a “second coming” of the prophet Mohammed, in the present circumstance we are dealing with religious fanatics whose only goal in life is to kill us all, and for no other reason than that we exist. Our lives, and the lives of our children and grandchildren, hang in the balance. Drastic measures are called for. It’s time to start thinking “outside the box.”