In God We Trust

What Obama Will Do When the Supreme Court Overturns Obamacare? — Another Fractured Fairy Tale

 

By Dr. Donald W. Hendon
DonaldHendon.com

It’s Sunday night, June 24, 2012, and Obama tells Michelle he’s going to watch the Fox 25th anniversary show in bed in the Lincoln bedroom at the White House.  He tells Michelle, “I love those funny cartoons on Sunday night.  They’ll relax me.  I’m on pins and needles, waiting for tomorrow’s Supreme Court decision on Obamacare.”  Michelle thinks to herself, “Thank goodness.  I won’t have to breathe that horrible cigarette smoke tonight.”

Obama falls asleep while Stewie is beating up Brian with a tire iron.  He has three dreams.

Dream 1:  Ghosts of Lyndon Johnson and John Kennedy show up to give him some advice:

Kennedy:  You’re a loser.  You’ve already been President longer than I was, and I accomplished more than you have.  I united the country.  Everybody loved the New Frontier.  Hell, after I was shot, they even named a casino in Vegas the New Frontier.  You’ve done just the opposite!  You’ve divided the country. 

Johnson:  Hey, Jack, don’t forget they tore down the New Frontier in 2007. 

Kennedy:  Yeah, it was imploded.  Sounds like Obama’s presidency.

Johnson:  Don’t be too hard on Obama, Jack.  Let’s brainstorm and try to help him.  After all, he’s a Democrat too.  A terrible Democrat, but still a Democrat.  

Kennedy:  OK, let’s come up with some catchy names for his presidency.  I had the New Frontier, and you had the Great Society.  How about the Great Frontier?

Johnson:  Sounds too much like Alaska.  People will think of Sarah Palin.

Kennedy:  How about the New Society?

Brian the dog, all bloody from Stewie’s beating, shows up and says:  Society?  Sounds too much like a bunch of rich people drinking martinis at a New York nightclub.

Kennedy:  Well, how about something like…like…the New Foundation?

Brian the dog:  Sounds like a woman’s girdle.  Or maybe women’s makeup.  Hey, Obama, didn’t you try that out on a bunch of historians you met with once?  What did they say?

Obama:  It sounded like a  woman’s girdle!

Brian the dog:  What did I tell you? 

Dream 2:  Obama wakes up, gets out of bed, and goes to the bathroom.  All of a sudden, Al Gore’s face appears in the mirror. 

Obama:  Al, what are you doing here in my bathroom?

Gore:  I want to give you some advice on how to rescue your presidency after the Supreme Court overturns Obamacare tomorrow. 

Obama:  Why should I take advice from a loser like you?

Gore:  I’m not a loser, dammit!  If it hadn’t been for those hanging chads in Florida, I would have been President.  Do you want my advice or not? 

Obama:  Sure, why not. 

Obama thinks to himself:  It’s going to be a long night.

Gore:  Here’s my advice.  Dump Biden.  He’s a laughing stock.  Get somebody who’s a winner.

Obama:  Who?

Gore:  Charlie Rangel.  He’s won every election since 1970.  And even if he loses in the primary on June 26 to that Puerto Rican guy Adriano Espaillat, he’s fat and lovable.  You’re skinny and not as lovable as you used to be—your phony smile is starting to turn people off.  Frankly, I’m sick of it. 

Obama:  Al, you’re full of baloney.  First of all, Espaillat is from the Dominican Republic, not from Puerto Rico.  Second, Charlie’s in his 80s.

Gore:  Hey, when Charlie dies in office you can appoint somebody else to be Vice-President—me.  I’d like to do it again.  Then, after you’re impeached and removed from office, I can finally be President. 

Obama:  Ain’t gonna happen, Al.  Biden’s much better than you.  He’s a lovable clown.  You’re not lovable at all!  You’re a sourpuss.  I’ve written down some of the things he’s said over the years.  I keep them in a notebook on my night table, next to my bed.  Whenever I read them, I laugh big-time.

Gore:  Tell me some of them.  I enjoy a good laugh, too.

Obama starts to read from his notebook:  Here are some of the things Joe said:

·       I promise you, the president has a big stick.  I promise you.

·       If we do everything right, if we do it with absolute certainty, there's still a 30% chance we're going to get it wrong.

·       Stand up, Chuck, let ‘em see you.”  (talking to Missouri state senator Chuck Graham, who is in a wheelchair)

·       You cannot go to a 7-11 or a Dunkin' Donuts unless you have a slight Indian accent.... I'm not joking.

·       A man I'm proud to call my friend. A man who will be the next President of the United States — Barack America!

·       The number-one job facing the middle class, is,  as Barack says, a three-letter word:  Jobs.  J-O-B-S, jobs."

·       I got tested for AIDS. I know Barack got tested for AIDS. There's no shame in being tested for AIDS. It's an important thing.

·       President Obama can't be here tonight because he's busy getting ready for Easter. He thinks it's about him.

Gore:  Remember what else Biden said:  “Hillary Clinton is as qualified or more qualified than I am to be vice president of the United States of America. Quite frankly, it might have been a better pick than me.” 

Obama:  So?

Gore:  So after Obamacare is overturned tomorrow, rescue your presidency by dumping Biden.  Pick a hero.  Pick the guy who always shows up when there’s an emergency and helps out.

Obama:  Who is that? 

Gore:  Your next dream will tell you who he is.  He’s younger than you, and he’s a hero.  He did very heroic things on April 13 and June 22. 

Obama tosses and turns, and eventually has dream number 3.  Here’s part of it:

Cory Booker, the mayor of Newark, shows up dressed in a Mighty Mouse suit.  He sings, “Here I come to save the day…Mighty Mouse is on his way.”   

To be continued...

Copyright (c) 2012 by Dr. Donald Wayne Hendon



In Dr. Donald W. Hendon's book, 365 Powerful Ways to Influence, you learn to use 121 aggressive tactics, 92 defensive tactics, 24 cooperative tactics, 16 submissive tactics, and 81 dirty tricks to get what you want from other people—plus 31 tactics to prepare you for your interaction with them.  There are many political examples.  Learn more about his book at www.donaldhendon.com.  And watch for his latest book, co-authored by Jay Conrad Levinson.  Titled Guerrilla Deal-Making, It contains the 100 most powerful tactics from 365 Powerful Ways.  It’s available for pre-order now at Amazon.com.