Obama Goes to Hell—a Fractured Fairy Tale
By Dr. Donald Wayne Hendon
DonaldHendon.com
After his disastrous third debate with Mitt Romney,
Obama cries himself to sleep. He’s comforted by gay
actor Kal Penn, his former Associate Director of the
White House Office of Pubic Engagement. They smoke
pot and they start snuggling together. Obama’s
well-worn copy of
Rules for Radicals,
written by Saul Alinsky in 1971, is on the night
stand. So are a dozen half-smoked marijuana
cigarettes.
After they fall asleep, there’s a loud knock on the
door. Obama thinks to himself, “What does the Secret
Service want with me now? Hope it’s an October
Surprise I can exploit. I need something big. If I
don’t figure out something soon, I’ll lose the
election on November 6.” He starts walking toward
the door. Even though he’s half-asleep, his
trademark swaggering walk is unmistakable.
Obama opens the door. The ghost of Obama’s mentor
Saul Alinsky, the scumbag who wrote
Rules for
Radicals, Obama’s bible, is there. So is
Lucifer himself. They go everywhere together. That’s
been going on ever since Alinsky dedicated his bible
for community organizers to Lucifer.
Obama: What are you guys doing here?
Aslinsky’s mouth moves, but the voice comes from
Lucifer himself. Alinsky-Satan says: We’re here to
take you on a tour of your new home in Hell. I’ve
created a Presidential Suite, just for you.
Obama: Which layer of Hell will I be living in?
Alinsky-Lucifer: As you know, there are 9 layers.
The deeper the layer, the deeper the sins. So it was
a toss-up between Layer 8, the home of Liars, or
Layer 9, the home of Traitors. So I created a
two-story Presidential Suite. You’re in both layers
8 and 9.
Obama: Make sure my Presidential Suite is big enough
for my ego. After all, I’m the biggest celebrity in
the world. I’m used to being catered to.
Alinsky-Lucifer, stabbing Obama in his ass with a
big pitchfork: Oh, boy, are you in for a shock!
You’re
going to do the catering. But the suite
is
damned big. In fact, it’s the biggest suite in Hell.
Obama: That’s good. I’m used to nothing but the
biggest and the best!
Alinsky-Lucifer: Hey, dummy, the bigger the suite,
the more you’ll be tormented. Are you a masochist or
something?
Big puff of smoke! Obama, Alinsky, and Lucifer find
themselves in Hell. The terrible trio float between
the 8th and 9th levels. Obama is puzzled. He asks:
“Hey, folks, what are those three suites? They’re
named Moe, Larry, and Curly. How come the Three
Stooges are in Hell? I watch them every chance I
get.
Alinsky-Lucifer: I picked those names myself.
They’re named for the Legislative, Judicial, and
Executive branches of government. Politicians and
lawyers are interred there.
Obama: How many politicians and lawyers are in those
suites now?
Alinsky-Lucifer: Almost all of them. Since the
beginning of time.
Obama: Who’s
not there?
Alinsky-Lucifer: George Washington, most of the
Founding Fathers. You know, the good guys! They’re
in heaven.
Obama begins to worry. Stammering, he says, “Hey,
folks, this is only a
guided
tour, isn’t it? I’m not
really
going to Hell, am I? This is just to
scare
me into changing my ways, isn’t it? Sort of like
Uncle Scrooge in
A Christmas
Carol. Hey, I’ll bet you’re really the ghost
of Christmas Past in disguise.”
Alinsky-Lucifer, laughing: It’s
Ebenezer
Scrooge, dummy!
Uncle
Scrooge is Donald Duck’s uncle! And do I look like a
mere ghost? I’m Lucifer himself. You better not mess
with me. As Ricky Nelson used to say, “I don’t mess
around, boy!” Then, he jabs Obama in the ass again
with his pitchfork.
Obama: Folks, this two-story suite ain’t that big. I
deserve something much, much bigger. After all, I
still am the biggest celebrity the world has ever
seen!
Alinsky-Lucifer: What an ego! You’re just a two-bit
politician who got lucky. Let me tell you something
that that will take you down a peg or two. You’re
gonna share the Presidential Suite with 22
roommates.
Obama: Who are they?
Alinksy-Lucifer goes through the list:
Nidal Mailk Hasan. Khalid Al-Midhar. Majed Moqed.
Nawaq Al-Hamzi. Salem Al-Hamzi. Hani Hanjour. Satam
Al-Suqami. Waleed Al-Sherhi. Wail Al-Sherhi. Mohand
Al-Sherhi. Mohamed Atta. Abdul-Aziz Al-Omari. Marwan
Al-Shehhi. Fayez Ahmed. Ahmed Al-Ghamdi. Hamza
Al-Ghamdi. Saeed Al-Ghamdi. Ahmed Al-Haznawi. Ahmed
Al-Nami.
Obama: Those names sound familiar. Who are they?
Alinksy-Lucifer: Hasan is the guy at Fort Hood who
killed 13 soldiers in 2009. You didn’t call him a
terrorist, remember?
Obama: Oh, yeah, I forgot. Who are these other guys?
Alinsky-Lucifer: The other 19 are the guys who
killed over 3,000 people in New York and Washington
on September 11, 2011. Do you think these 20 guys
are terrorists?
Obama: Gee, I don’t know. Can I wait till after the
election to answer that question? I can be more
flexible after November 6. A
lot
more flexible, wink-wink!
Alinsky-Lucifer: That kind of double-talk may go
over pretty good with Russia, Libya, Egypt, Syria,
and the American news media. But it sure doesn’t go
over with me. He jabs Obama in the ass again with
his pitchfork. Then he goes on to say: “And you’re
gonna have two more terrorist roommates.”
Obama: Who are they?
Alinsky-Lucifer: Guess! You know them, personally!
Obama: You don’t mean…
Alinsky-Lucifer: Yep! Bill Ayers and Bernardine
Dohrn!
Big puff of smoke. Obama finds himself back in bed
with Kal Penn. He says to Kal: “Hey, wake up,
Kally-Wally. I had the strangest dream!”
Kal: So did I! Hey, Barry, what’s that smell?
Doesn’t smell like marijuana. Is that sulfur? And
what’s all that smoke in the air?
What was Kal Penn’s dream? The answer is in a future
Fractured Fairy Tale.
Dr. Donald Wayne Hendon is a consultant, speaker,
trainer, and author of ten books, including
365
Powerful Ways to Influence and the
forthcoming
Guerrilla Deal-Making.
Deal-Making,
co-authored by Jay Conrad Levinson, is now available
for pre-purchase on Amazon.com. It contains the 100
most powerful tactics from
365 Powerful Ways—along with 400 countermeasures. There are
121 aggressive tactics, 92 defensive ones, 24
cooperative ones, and 16 submissive ones to get what
you want from other people. Plus 81 dirty tricks to
watch out for and 31 tactics to prepare you for your
interaction with them. Download Chapter 1, free of
charge, at
www.DonaldHendon.com. Play his free online
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www.DonaldHendon.com/NegotiationPoker. Apps
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